Favorite Monty Python Quotes

[Nilla]

Lets post our favorite Mony Python quotes or skits..

this is just ONE of mine :)

Hungarian: [reading from a English-Hungarian dictionary] I vill not buy this record, it is scratched.
Tobacconist: Sorry?
Hungarian: I vill not buy this record, it is scratched.
Tobacconist: Uh, no, no, this... uh... tobacconist.
Hungarian: Ah! I vill not buy this *tobacconist*, it is sratched.
Tobacconist: Uh, no, no, tobacco... um... cigarettes.
Hungarian: Ja! "Ci-ga-ret-ta"! Uh... My hovercraft if full of eels.
[pause]

Hungarian: My hovercraft
[motions "cigarettes"]
Hungarian: is full of eels.
[motions "matches"]

Tobacconist: Oh! Matches! Matches.

Hungarian: Ja! Ja, ja. Uh... do you *WA*nt... do you *WA*nt to come back to my place? Bouncy, bouncy!

Tobacconist: I don't think you're using that right.
Hungarian: You great poohft.
Tobacconist: Uh, that will be 66 please.

Hungarian: If I said you had beautiful body, vould you hold it against me? I... I am no longer infected.

Tobacconist: M-may I?
Hungarian: Ja! Ja!
[gives book to Tobacconist]
Tobacconist: Costs 6 and 6... costs 6 and... ah, here we are!
[Tobacconist says something in Hungarian, causing the Hungarian to punch him in the face. A police officer comes rushing into the store]
Police Officer: What's going on here then?
Hungarian: [to police officer] You have beautiful thighs.
Police Officer: What?
Tobacconist: He hit me!

Hungarian: Drop your panties, Sir William, I cannot wait till lunch time.

Police Officer: [angry] RIGHT!
[Hungarian dragged away by police officer]

Hungarian: My nipples explode with delight!

[Avalyn]

My favorite ....
Roman leader with lisp
fwee wodewick

[Joneswilliamsc]

Well I came to know that there is an actual book called "Monty Python, All The Words". I have read that one. My favourite Quote is:
“Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark”

[veronicaZora]

Monty Python have long been a source of amusement. To choose one is very hard. Two are my favorite Monty Python's quotes which are Always look on the bright side of life. and My philosophy like color television is all there in black and white. These two sentences are very inspiring.