Worst Christmas Song... Ever!

[Millencolin]

stolen from another forum:

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me - a Partridge in a pear tree.”

You cheap bastard. A partridge in a pear tree? What did you do? Point out the window, show her the beauty of a bird roosting in a winter kissed pear tree and tell her “This, is for you my love, from nature and god, to the heart of my angel.”?

You got her NOTHING. First of all, 99% of the world wouldn’t know a partridge from a pigeon, and if it’s the middle of winter - how are you going to KNOW it’s a PEAR tree? Its not exactly blossoming with FRUIT is it? And even if you do wheel in a pear tree with a wild animal thrashing around and flinging fear induced poop and feathers everywhere ...

WHAT KIND OF GIFT IS THAT? Worst. Gift. Ever.

If you gave me a bird in a tree for a gift, I would burn down your house. Does the partridge come with an X-box 360? Does the tree hide a cache of money and jewels? No? Then get your LAZY ASS down to the gift exchange, drop off the vulture and the shrub and buy her something that she might actually WANT. Try the Bath and Body Works, or Victoria’s Secret or SOMETHING. Trust me, no one wants birds, especially some girl you're trying to impress.

“On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me - Two Turtle Doves.”

What in the *HELL* is a Turtle Dove? Now I have to go to Google exactly what you gave your girl for Christmas? Gee thanks for the homework.

Oh. Look. It’s another bird. Gee. Thanks. What’s wrong, the partridge not “Birdy” enough for you? Is your true love throwing off a “Hey, I want chirping, squawking, mite infested birds that you can’t even eat, in my house.” vibes? Do you work at a pet store? Where the HELL did you even *GET* a “Turtle Dove” let alone, TWO Turtle Doves to give as a gift? Do they get along with Partridges? Did you even CHECK? What if they go nuts because they are natural enemies and rip each other to shreds over Christmas dinner? Yeah, nothing says “I love you” on Christmas like wild animals fighting and the soft gentle rain of blood soaked feathers.

HEY! I know! Maybe next year you can get her a pitbull and some kibble covered two year olds! What in the HELL is wrong with you? Did you even THINK about these gifts? I have NEVER had a woman I love tell me that she wanted birds for Christmas. In fact, I’m pretty sure that if you gave your “True Love” a bird, or in this case - a total of three, she’d give you “The Bird” in return.

“On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me - Three French Hens”

NOW we are talking. While bringing her home three French chicks might not seem like the perfect gift for HER, I can definitely see the merit here. Especially if they all kiss.

What? French Hens are birds? Are they cooked? I mean are you bringing her three COOKED birds? Because that might be okay. Sure, three seems like a lot to you and me, but I have NO idea how big the birds are, or more importantly, how big your “True Love” is. Maybe she could huff down three of these things in one sitting and then look hungrily towards the REALLY nervous looking Doves and the Partridge.

I still think the bird thing is just weird. After like the second day I’d have NO patience, and by day number three? I’d be hucking rocks at you as you came up my driveway with the cage in hand.

Now do you see why everyone in an old photograph looks like they just got a BenGay Enema? People just gave each other birds and trees for Christmas. Then they probably sang Christmas carols and ate chestnuts while hugging under a blanket in front of a fire.

You don’t eat chestnuts. You lob them at people who keep bringing you BIRDS for the holidays.

“On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - Four Calling Birds”

I have no idea what a “Calling” bird is. It sounds vaguely dirty, and if we were in England, I would DEFINATELY be interested in four “Calling Birds” especially since they call women birds.

Oh look! Its more birds. “Calling can mean Colly, which means black.” Four Black Birds. More birds. Is this all they HAD back then? Were there no other gifts? Were birds like hard to find, so they made great gifts? I don’t GET it. What the HELL is with all the birds? There’s NO WAY IN HELL, by day FOUR, you’d still be bringing me birds. You’d be at the end of my driveway dodging flaming chestnuts and bowls of Figgy Pudding.

BIRDS DO NOT MAKE GOOD PRESENTS! Are you even still IN LOVE by the end of the song? Does she even know you exist? Are these just weird stalker presents that make her fear you and call the “Constable” so that she can get “Ye Olde Restraining Order”?

And please notice - No mention of bird food, cages, newspaper for linings, or asking if we WANTED the responsibility. Nope. Just “Here are your birds, Merry Christmas!” This is why the “Good Old Days” sucked so badly.

“On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - Five Golden Rings”

Aaaaaaaaahahhahahahahahaha! Buying her nothing but BIRDS for the first four days bit you in the ASS didn’t it Chuckles? Had to buy her something to make up for the feathers and the screeching and the loss of sleep and general HATE directed to your first four lame ass gifts?

Of course, if you note, the song does not indicate five “Gold” rings. It says “Golden” rings. We’re hoping you sprang for the good stuff and nothing that’ll turn her fingers green after a few days, because when you’re up to your elbows in dirty bird cages and have been driven half insane by the never ending chirping, I’m POSITIVE five “fake gold rings that turn your fingers green” is just enough to send you over the edge.

But still, let this be a lesson on women. If you get her a bunch of crappy gifts, the GOOD gift that gets you off of the couch is going to cost you a small fortune.

“On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - Six Geese A-Laying”

Okay. Before we go ANY further, let’s define “A-Laying”. Because either you are a sicko with a fetish that is only legal in some parts of Germany, or you are giving your “true Love” six Geese crapping out still warm eggs.

Firstly, you are back to the birds. I swear, by all that I hold holy, “Ye Olde Wal-Mart” must have had a sale on birds and bird related items. Birds “back then” were hotter than any variant of ANY Elmo doll that involves tickling or inappropriate touching. That’s all you got. Birds, birds, birds and MORE birds. Luckily most of them died of “Black Lung” during the depression so you didn’t have to care for them.

Secondly…still warm from the Goose’s butt eggs are GROSS. Why would you do that? Why would grab something a goose just shot out of its butt, and hand it to your “True Love”? I mean its gotta have like ... bird butt juice or SOMETHING on it, and you just PICKED IT UP! Are you wearing gloves? Did you wash your hands? I mean…people wonder where “Bird flu” comes from. I’m no bird expert, but I’m guessing? Bird butts and unwashed eggs.

Someone hand me a wet-nap.

“On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me - Seven Swans a-swimming”

Back to the lame gifts eh? What’s wrong? Spend all your money on those gold rings? How do you give someone “Seven Swans A-swimming”? If there are seven swans, and they are swimming, you’d guess that they are in a pond. Swans in a pond do pretty much what they want to.

Are YOU going to swim out and get them? No - and you know damn well your true love won’t either. Why not just give her “angel kisses wrapped in wishes”?

If someone told *ME* that they had a present for me, and I got all excited, got dressed, and went outside... And instead of a car, or a snowmobile, or something too big to keep in the house, they pointed to a pond and said “See those Seven Swans? They are yours!” I would knee them in the groin and pelt them with juicy butt eggs.

"On the Eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - Eight Maids a-milking”

Okay. I know that’s not dirty. I know that it doesn’t mean what I’m envisioning it means… but this has the potential of being the BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER.

Firstly, “Maids” can mean “Young Maidens” or “Hot chicks in Maid Uniforms”. Either way, there are eight of them.

Secondly, it doesn’t say WHAT they are milking. What if they are milking the venom from deadly snakes? Eight hot chicks wrestling venomous cobras? MY GOD...that is SO EXTREME that it makes me want to go snow boarding while drinking Mountain Dew right fricking NOW.

I’m not sure how you can pass off eight chicks doing barnyard work as a “gift”, but I’ll give the dude credit for trying. I mean, I wouldn’t have the guts to show my woman some dude shoveling horse crap and tell her “See those guys with the shovels and the stained overalls? They’re for YOU.” I’m pretty sure that if I tried that, the ninth day of Christmas would involve “nine kicks to the scrotum”.

"On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me - Nine Ladies Dancing”

Kinda went the other way with THIS one now didn’t we? How do you get from buying someone birds ... to stopping in at the strip club?

Can you imagine the SIZE of the ornaments on this guy? Not only does he hit the nudie bar with the money that he was supposed to use to get her a gift, he convinces her it was really *FOR HER*. I forgive the birds and what not, and this guy is now my new official HERO. If you can convince your “true love” that the lap dances you got from Bambi and Bubbles were a gift for her, and that you did it to make her happy ... and she buys it…you are THE MAN. Little beer can shrines need to be erected in your honor.

Drive her nuts with birds and then you get strippers. By the gods it’s brilliant.

“On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me - Ten Lords a Leaping”

She sobered up eh? Yeah, we all sort of seen that one coming. You might get away with the nudie bar escapes for a night, but the next morning when she’s all fresh and thinking clearly because she went on a psychotic bird killing spree and the chirping is no more? She’s going to remember those Nine Ladies Dancing…

Ten Lords a Leaping…..so what? You got stuck going to the ballet, or buying tickets to River Dance or what not? Suck it up. Did you really expect to get away with hitting the strip club THAT close to Christmas and having her say NOTHING? I don’t care if it’s like 1692 and they only take off their bonnets - you have been FOREVER monumented as the dude who got his chick, MORE CHICKS for Christmas. Sit through the play, buy her anything she wants from “Ye Olde Concession Stand” and take it like man. It’s what Bubbles would have wanted.

“On the Eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me - Elven Pipers Piping”
….Okay… It’s day three of the shtick and I am *LOST*. What in the HELL is a “Piper Piping”? Is a Piper a bird? Did you revert back to the BIRDS? Please say you are done with the birds? I mean, dude! Her house HAS to smell like ammonia by now, and how much crap covered news paper can you stand looking at? I’m going to go look this up, and if this is another bird reference I’m building a time machine, going back in time … and so help me god when I find you …

Oh. It’s literally “Pipers”. Piping. Eleven dudes playing the flute. How in the hell do you find eleven guys who know how to play the flute? Even if you know where to find “Ye Olde Minstrels”, chances are only one or two of them know how to play the god damn flute. But no, you manage to find ELEVEN DUDES who can A) Play the flute B) Don’t mind “being your present” and C) are probably wearing tights, because lets face it, it you are playing the flute - tights are usually involved at one time or another.

We have ONE more day, and then I’m getting so F’d up on Eggnog its not even funny. Pipers ... god damn pipers.

“On the Twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me - Twelve Drummers Drumming”

This song went from being all loving and showing symbols of that love, like the Dove, or Swans, to being a sick and twisted nightmare. Who the HELL ARE YOU?

You don’t give your “true love” a total of twenty-two birds and then show up at the butt-crack of dawn with the cast from “Drum Line” to serenade her. If you have a dozen dudes beating the living hell out of their drums at 6am several things are going to happen;

1) The birds are going to go NUTS. I mean screeching, clawing, feather flying NUTS. Like I said, I’m no animal expert, but I’m guessing since my buddy’s cockatiel turns into a bird version of Cujo whenever you crinkle paper near him (true story), a drum line is going to send them into a frenzy.

2) Your woman is going to snap. Its now January 6th, you have twelve retards doing rim shots outside of her little cottage before her “Ye Olde Alarm clock” even goes OFF, and every feathered beast in the house just decided to act out a scene from Alfred Hitchc ock’s “The Birds”. There is NO way in hell ANYONE’S sanity could put up with that strain, and I think that this might even be a form of torture is some countries.

3) Your Neighbors are calling the Police. You can’t “aim” a drum line at her house. The entire NEIGHBORHOOD enjoys THIS little present, and I don’t care about your intention. If she lived next door to ME, and you have given a dozen drummers as a present for your “true love”, I’m coming over there, and it’s NOT going to be pretty. I don’t like to get woken up by stupid crap, and I get CRANKY.

So as you can clearly see, this is *THE WORST CHRISTMAS SONG EVER*. It should never be played, no one likes to listen to it (Not even the Muppet version with the “Bah-dah BUMP BUMP” parts) and if you sing it, you should be boiled in your own Figgy Pudding.

This song single handedly ruins the Holidays, gets little kids beaten in the backseat of the car, and unless it is being used, on purpose, as psychological warfare (or to drive your True Love bibbity) it should never - EVER - Be played.

… Ever!

[EmjaY]

Well the only bird of the feathered variety that I hope to receive is a turkey and hopefully the feathers will have gone by the time I see it.

I suppose the odd dancing girl would be acceptable ;)

[jennifer6lopez]

(12-15-2010 10:48 PM)Millencolin Wrote:  stolen from another forum:

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me - a Partridge in a pear tree.”

You cheap bastard. A partridge in a pear tree? What did you do? Point out the window, show her the beauty of a bird roosting in a winter kissed pear tree and tell her “This, is for you my love, from nature and god, to the heart of my angel.”?

You got her NOTHING. First of all, 99% of the world wouldn’t know a partridge from a pigeon, and if it’s the middle of winter - how are you going to KNOW it’s a PEAR tree? Its not exactly blossoming with FRUIT is it? And even if you do wheel in a pear tree with a wild animal thrashing around and flinging fear induced poop and feathers everywhere ...

WHAT KIND OF GIFT IS THAT? Worst. Gift. Ever.

If you gave me a bird in a tree for a gift, I would burn down your house. Does the partridge come with an X-box 360? Does the tree hide a cache of money and jewels? No? Then get your LAZY ASS down to the gift exchange, drop off the vulture and the shrub and buy her something that she might actually WANT. Try the Bath and Body Works, or Victoria’s Secret or SOMETHING. Trust me, no one wants birds, especially some girl you're trying to impress.

“On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me - Two Turtle Doves.”

What in the *HELL* is a Turtle Dove? Now I have to go to Google exactly what you gave your girl for Christmas? Gee thanks for the homework.

Oh. Look. It’s another bird. Gee. Thanks. What’s wrong, the partridge not “Birdy” enough for you? Is your true love throwing off a “Hey, I want chirping, squawking, mite infested birds that you can’t even eat, in my house.” vibes? Do you work at a pet store? Where the HELL did you even *GET* a “Turtle Dove” let alone, TWO Turtle Doves to give as a gift? Do they get along with Partridges? Did you even CHECK? What if they go nuts because they are natural enemies and rip each other to shreds over Christmas dinner? Yeah, nothing says “I love you” on Christmas like wild animals fighting and the soft gentle rain of blood soaked feathers.

HEY! I know! Maybe next year you can get her a pitbull and some kibble covered two year olds! What in the HELL is wrong with you? Did you even THINK about these gifts? I have NEVER had a woman I love tell me that she wanted birds for Christmas. In fact, I’m pretty sure that if you gave your “True Love” a bird, or in this case - a total of three, she’d give you “The Bird” in return.

“On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me - Three French Hens”

NOW we are talking. While bringing her home three French chicks might not seem like the perfect gift for HER, I can definitely see the merit here. Especially if they all kiss.

What? French Hens are birds? Are they cooked? I mean are you bringing her three COOKED birds? Because that might be okay. Sure, three seems like a lot to you and me, but I have NO idea how big the birds are, or more importantly, how big your “True Love” is. Maybe she could huff down three of these things in one sitting and then look hungrily towards the REALLY nervous looking Doves and the Partridge.

I still think the bird thing is just weird. After like the second day I’d have NO patience, and by day number three? I’d be hucking rocks at you as you came up my driveway with the cage in hand.

Now do you see why everyone in an old photograph looks like they just got a BenGay Enema? People just gave each other birds and trees for Christmas. Then they probably sang Christmas carols and ate chestnuts while hugging under a blanket in front of a fire.

You don’t eat chestnuts. You lob them at people who keep bringing you BIRDS for the holidays.

“On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - Four Calling Birds”

I have no idea what a “Calling” bird is. It sounds vaguely dirty, and if we were in England, I would DEFINATELY be interested in four “Calling Birds” especially since they call women birds.

Oh look! Its more birds. “Calling can mean Colly, which means black.” Four Black Birds. More birds. Is this all they HAD back then? Were there no other gifts? Were birds like hard to find, so they made great gifts? I don’t GET it. What the HELL is with all the birds? There’s NO WAY IN HELL, by day FOUR, you’d still be bringing me birds. You’d be at the end of my driveway dodging flaming chestnuts and bowls of Figgy Pudding.

BIRDS DO NOT MAKE GOOD PRESENTS! Are you even still IN LOVE by the end of the song? Does she even know you exist? Are these just weird stalker presents that make her fear you and call the “Constable” so that she can get “Ye Olde Restraining Order”?

And please notice - No mention of bird food, cages, newspaper for linings, or asking if we WANTED the responsibility. Nope. Just “Here are your birds, Merry Christmas!” This is why the “Good Old Days” sucked so badly.

“On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - Five Golden Rings”

Aaaaaaaaahahhahahahahahaha! Buying her nothing but BIRDS for the first four days bit you in the ASS didn’t it Chuckles? Had to buy her something to make up for the feathers and the screeching and the loss of sleep and general HATE directed to your first four lame ass gifts?

Of course, if you note, the song does not indicate five “Gold” rings. It says “Golden” rings. We’re hoping you sprang for the good stuff and nothing that’ll turn her fingers green after a few days, because when you’re up to your elbows in dirty bird cages and have been driven half insane by the never ending chirping, I’m POSITIVE five “fake gold rings that turn your fingers green” is just enough to send you over the edge.

But still, let this be a lesson on women. If you get her a bunch of crappy gifts, the GOOD gift that gets you off of the couch is going to cost you a small fortune.

“On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - Six Geese A-Laying”

Okay. Before we go ANY further, let’s define “A-Laying”. Because either you are a sicko with a fetish that is only legal in some parts of Germany, or you are giving your “true Love” six Geese crapping out still warm eggs.

Firstly, you are back to the birds. I swear, by all that I hold holy, “Ye Olde Wal-Mart” must have had a sale on birds and bird related items. Birds “back then” were hotter than any variant of ANY Elmo doll that involves tickling or inappropriate touching. That’s all you got. Birds, birds, birds and MORE birds. Luckily most of them died of “Black Lung” during the depression so you didn’t have to care for them.

Secondly…still warm from the Goose’s butt eggs are GROSS. Why would you do that? Why would grab something a goose just shot out of its butt, and hand it to your “True Love”? I mean its gotta have like ... bird butt juice or SOMETHING on it, and you just PICKED IT UP! Are you wearing gloves? Did you wash your hands? I mean…people wonder where “Bird flu” comes from. I’m no bird expert, but I’m guessing? Bird butts and unwashed eggs.

Someone hand me a wet-nap.

“On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me - Seven Swans a-swimming”

Back to the lame gifts eh? What’s wrong? Spend all your money on those gold rings? How do you give someone “Seven Swans A-swimming”? If there are seven swans, and they are swimming, you’d guess that they are in a pond. Swans in a pond do pretty much what they want to.

Are YOU going to swim out and get them? No - and you know damn well your true love won’t either. Why not just give her “angel kisses wrapped in wishes”?

If someone told *ME* that they had a present for me, and I got all excited, got dressed, and went outside... And instead of a car, or a snowmobile, or something too big to keep in the house, they pointed to a pond and said “See those Seven Swans? They are yours!” I would knee them in the groin and pelt them with juicy butt eggs.

"On the Eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - Eight Maids a-milking”

Okay. I know that’s not dirty. I know that it doesn’t mean what I’m envisioning it means… but this has the potential of being the BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER.

Firstly, “Maids” can mean “Young Maidens” or “Hot chicks in Maid Uniforms”. Either way, there are eight of them.

Secondly, it doesn’t say WHAT they are milking. What if they are milking the venom from deadly snakes? Eight hot chicks wrestling venomous cobras? MY GOD...that is SO EXTREME that it makes me want to go snow boarding while drinking Mountain Dew right fricking NOW.

I’m not sure how you can pass off eight chicks doing barnyard work as a “gift”, but I’ll give the dude credit for trying. I mean, I wouldn’t have the guts to show my woman some dude shoveling horse crap and tell her “See those guys with the shovels and the stained overalls? They’re for YOU.” I’m pretty sure that if I tried that, the ninth day of Christmas would involve “nine kicks to the scrotum”.

"On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me - Nine Ladies Dancing”

Kinda went the other way with THIS one now didn’t we? How do you get from buying someone birds ... to stopping in at the strip club?

Can you imagine the SIZE of the ornaments on this guy? Not only does he hit the nudie bar with the money that he was supposed to use to get her a gift, he convinces her it was really *FOR HER*. I forgive the birds and what not, and this guy is now my new official HERO. If you can convince your “true love” that the lap dances you got from Bambi and Bubbles were a gift for her, and that you did it to make her happy ... and she buys it…you are THE MAN. Little beer can shrines need to be erected in your honor.

Drive her nuts with birds and then you get strippers. By the gods it’s brilliant.

“On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me - Ten Lords a Leaping”

She sobered up eh? Yeah, we all sort of seen that one coming. You might get away with the nudie bar escapes for a night, but the next morning when she’s all fresh and thinking clearly because she went on a psychotic bird killing spree and the chirping is no more? She’s going to remember those Nine Ladies Dancing…

Ten Lords a Leaping…..so what? You got stuck going to the ballet, or buying tickets to River Dance or what not? Suck it up. Did you really expect to get away with hitting the strip club THAT close to Christmas and having her say NOTHING? I don’t care if it’s like 1692 and they only take off their bonnets - you have been FOREVER monumented as the dude who got his chick, MORE CHICKS for Christmas. Sit through the play, buy her anything she wants from “Ye Olde Concession Stand” and take it like man. It’s what Bubbles would have wanted.

“On the Eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me - Elven Pipers Piping”
….Okay… It’s day three of the shtick and I am *LOST*. What in the HELL is a “Piper Piping”? Is a Piper a bird? Did you revert back to the BIRDS? Please say you are done with the birds? I mean, dude! Her house HAS to smell like ammonia by now, and how much crap covered news paper can you stand looking at? I’m going to go look this up, and if this is another bird reference I’m building a time machine, going back in time … and so help me god when I find you …

Oh. It’s literally “Pipers”. Piping. Eleven dudes playing the flute. How in the hell do you find eleven guys who know how to play the flute? Even if you know where to find “Ye Olde Minstrels”, chances are only one or two of them know how to play the god damn flute. But no, you manage to find ELEVEN DUDES who can A) Play the flute B) Don’t mind “being your present” and C) are probably wearing tights, because lets face it, it you are playing the flute - tights are usually involved at one time or another.

We have ONE more day, and then I’m getting so F’d up on Eggnog its not even funny. Pipers ... god damn pipers.

“On the Twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me - Twelve Drummers Drumming”

This song went from being all loving and showing symbols of that love, like the Dove, or Swans, to being a sick and twisted nightmare. Who the HELL ARE YOU?

You don’t give your “true love” a total of twenty-two birds and then show up at the butt-crack of dawn with the cast from “Drum Line” to serenade her. If you have a dozen dudes beating the living hell out of their drums at 6am several things are going to happen;

1) The birds are going to go NUTS. I mean screeching, clawing, feather flying NUTS. Like I said, I’m no animal expert, but I’m guessing since my buddy’s cockatiel turns into a bird version of Cujo whenever you crinkle paper near him (true story), a drum line is going to send them into a frenzy.

2) Your woman is going to snap. Its now January 6th, you have twelve retards doing rim shots outside of her little cottage before her “Ye Olde Alarm clock” even goes OFF, and every feathered beast in the house just decided to act out a scene from Alfred Hitchc ock’s “The Birds”. There is NO way in hell ANYONE’S sanity could put up with that strain, and I think that this might even be a form of torture is some countries.

3) Your Neighbors are calling the Police. You can’t “aim” a drum line at her house. The entire NEIGHBORHOOD enjoys THIS little present, and I don’t care about your intention. If she lived next door to ME, and you have given a dozen drummers as a present for your “true love”, I’m coming over there, and it’s NOT going to be pretty. I don’t like to get woken up by stupid crap, and I get CRANKY.

So as you can clearly see, this is *THE WORST CHRISTMAS SONG EVER*. It should never be played, no one likes to listen to it (Not even the Muppet version with the “Bah-dah BUMP BUMP” parts) and if you sing it, you should be boiled in your own Figgy Pudding.

This song single handedly ruins the Holidays, gets little kids beaten in the backseat of the car, and unless it is being used, on purpose, as psychological warfare (or to drive your True Love bibbity) it should never - EVER - Be played.

… Ever!

Its not that worst as it is written here.Not best but not even worst.